Dedication 2 A Friend

As I sat there with tears streaming down my face...
I rubbed my stomach and thought about you in that very space...
Oh, how I couldn’t wait to get to the doctor to hear your little heart beat..
How I couldn’t wait till the day to hold you
To count all your toes on your tiny little feet..
How I wanted to kiss your forehead and stare into your eyes...
How I wanted to feel your heartbeat up against mine....
But now my soul feel empty,
And I have these tears leaking from my eyes...
Your father is here for me but he’s hurting as well...
We had no idea if u would be a bouncin baby boy or a beautiful little girl...
I remember him sitting there rubbing my stomach,
Always humming a tune...
How I would sit there and swoon...
How we would sit there and go over names...
The ones he frowned upoun, (Scoff)
And the ones we claimed...
I couldn’t wait to be a mother again...
The shopping and the money well spent...
I went to the doctor faithfully ever week...
Just to lay there and listen and wait for that faithful beat,
The heart strings, (sigh) one beat after another...
But this time it wasn’t there,
It was just a dull flutter..
I looked at the doctors and I asked “What’s wrong...?"
They just looked at me,
They came up with some type of excuse,
Then they asked me to come back the following week...
I shook my head and I humbled myself and I gathered my things...
I said a prayer that night for God to keep you safe...
Telling him I wold do all things possible just to keep you with me...
That following week is when I got the news that you were barely holding on...
I held on to your fathers hand and the tears began to flow...
Your father asked “What’s wrong...?"
The doctors said there were complications,
There was a choice to make,
It was either you or me....
I got up from the table,
I asked them “What is these words that you speak..?"
Before they could get a word out edgewise,
Out of anger I stormed out asking God “Why me...?"
Your father found me and pulled me close and kissed me softly,
He told me he wouldn’t know what to do without me...
So I rubbed my stomach and with my head hung low,
I knew I had a choice to make...
I knew I could no longer watch you grow...
So I humbled myself and did a complete about face...
That nite while laying on that table,
I cried for not only you but for our family...
I opened my mouth yet again to ask God “Why...?"
But I knew within my heart of hearts...
That heaven is where you will be....
Waiting on us to come through those heavenly gates..
Your father and Me.....
( I love you Sis)